Galge Review – Akabanzu

akabanzu17I am still playing Devil Survivor in my friend’s N3DS, and it’s pretty sweet, much better than SHC. But now I need a new Galge to read, and this month releases are still a bit far away. It’s when I found this game! It has a funny story, cute art, lolis, traps, big breasts, loli with big breasts, elfs with big breasts, it has everything… with big breasts! So why I don’t see anyone talking about it since it’s release back in June last year? Ha! I am sure there’s nothing wrong with it, right?


akabanzu02Alpha is the MMO with most popularity of this era, and is also the MMO with most mediocre name ever. Obviously, Asian players are on it like it’s cocaine. After completing a supposedly impossible quest, a certain party is judged by God (the GM) and declared as waste of humanity. As punishment , they get their accounts banned, giving them the cute nickname of “accabans”. However, they all receive a proposal from Chronos, the company behind their favorite game. If they were to participate in a special program, they would get their accounts restored. They immediately accept the offer and get transferred to a school in a rural area called “Frontier Academy”. There, they meet IRL for the first time and are given many tasks to complete until they become worthy members of society and better humans.akabanzu01There it is! The reason why no one cares for this game! It’s story is stupid! All those stuff happen, but the characters never think about suing the company. And you can’t fool me! Those guys are Asian! Do you think something like a mere account ban would stop them from playing? I am sure they would immediately create a new account and start over. This is how gamers are. It seems the writers don’t really understand how we-who-have-no-lives work.

But why would Chronos forbid their players from playing their game? This is not a very intelligent action to take, isn’t that right, SquareEnix? But, wait! There’s much more to it! You later find out that Chronos works for the government and they developed a super computer that manages nearly all services in Japan. This same computer is also the server for their MMO and it also got the lame name of “Alpha”. They also reveal that this game is the dream of all conspiracy-fanatics come true, as they use it to steal players’ personal data regarding their hobbies, abilities, family, weaknesses and even their three sizes! Yet, no one thinks this is wrong. Huunm…this is gonna be a long day!


akabanzu11What is there to say about Tojiri Kenta, other than: “ordinary protagonist”? A normal guy with normal looks and no special talents. He played with a Dragon Knight called Hiyen. He spent all his free time playing Alpha and was among the Top 20 players, but even though he was one of the main players behind the completion of the special quest that got everyone in his party, Alpha’s stalker program considered him a below-average person with no special abilities, thus, someone unwanted in the program. If not for a certain little thing, he would not be invited. In every route, the heroines say something like “You have become cooler” or “Since when did you become so manly?”, this is to trick you to think there was some character development, but he is pretty much the same guy from the beginning…

akabanzu03akabanzu04Tsujiuchi Yuki is a beautiful idol who, for some reason, played Alphas. She was a newbie, but was able to keep up with much stronger and experienced players. This is because she is a genius who used high-level strategies and was able to find out the best character buildings. It’s because of her abnormal intelligence that she is sent to the special program in the “Frontier Academy”. When it’s about studies, she has no weak subject, getting the highest grades very easily. She says that she used all her free time to study, but this conflicts with her statement about using her free time to play Alpha, to the point she didn’t sleep sometimes. She played as a “Minstrel” called Miescher, and Kenta was always helping her in the game. They were pretty close and Yuki started to fall in love with him, that’s why Alpha’s creepy program decided that Kenta’s only value to society was to be Yuki’s partner. That’s so beautiful, right?!

akabanzu05akabanzu06 Tsuru Iori may not look like one, but she is a fake loli. She was the leader of Kenta’s guild and the TOP ranked player in Alphas. According to the opening video, she played as a male “Paradine” named Tristan, so nobody expected her to be a cute girl (I did!). She later says that she had a very weak body in the past, that’s why she became used to play games non-stop and eventually became a shut-in. However, this doesn’t explain her super talents in every sports, specially because she dedicated 24 hours per day for Alpha, so the only exercises she did before was fork-lifting and mouse-pushing. But I guess since she is a cute girl, she wouldn’t lose to other guys. Cuteness is Justice!

akabanzu07akabanzu08Hirata Hotaru is a very simple-minded local girl who acts like a stereotypical country-girl by getting over-excited with everything and everyone related to the big city. Therefore, she becomes a “royal follower” of the accabans in no time. Her role is to serve as their guide during the program, and, since her older sister is one of the main officers behind the program, she often gets involved.

akabanzu09akabanzu10Then, there’s Emmy. The opening video says she is “The role of advance” (I just can’t get enough of this!). She was a NPC and assistant from Alpha, but suddenly, she got a physical form because SHUT-UP! She starts to work as a supporter in the program and even transfer to the same class as the protagonist.


This game really tickles your suspension of disbelief, as it uses a very common formula for the majority of Galges to establish the relation between protagonist and heroines. It’s the basic convenient situation for the protagonist: He can’t do much but receives a lot from women who can do much more than anyone else and wish to do anything for him. It’s typical, but here it’s way more blatant because of the whole theme with people who should be pariahs of society, but for some twist of fate, every girl who interacted with your character in that MMO just happens to be beautiful, elegant, rich, very intelligent, incredibly strong, super popular and totally in love with you. This even defeats the purpose of throwing those perfect girls in a rehabilitation program. It’s so “in your face” that it feels awkward even for me, who should be used to seeing those things.akabanzu15This is such a waste, because I sincerely loved the idea of having a harem filled with otakus, chuunibyos, hikikomoris, and introverted girls with terrible fashion sense. This would be very unique and interesting, if done right! Unfortunately, the closer we get to that is Iori, and she never goes too far with it.akabanzu13It’s funny to see how a Galge writer has a limited view compared to other authors, for that reason, if one of his heroines starts to practice a sport, she will easily and suddenly become the best in the school, or in the nation or even in the whole freaking world. They make any activity look so simplistic and uninteresting that it’s hilarious! …Ah, it’s stupid, too!akabanzu12This is but another one of these stories where the protagonist is but a mere observer who can only watch the god-blessed-heroines using their incredible talents to realize all their dreams without much effort.Chuning Lover01It’s not like this is the only or even first Galge with weird girls sent to a special group to be “cured”. At least, the girls from Chuning Lover were more convincing about their oddities.


akabanzu14The graphics are by Rurino Sakadzuki, his style reminds me a lot of Ito Noizi’s works sometimes, but the proportions are where they differentiate from each other the most, with Rurino’s art being much more about voluptuous breasts than anything. The character design is ok, nothing really stands out but, at least, it’s pretty cute. I also like the clothes, since nobody wears something ridiculous, except for Emmy, but she is already a pretty ridiculous character, so…


akabanzu16The heroines’ seiyuus are all decent, but some sub-characters and every single extra got some pretty disgusting voices. It almost makes me puke just from hearing them!  The music is forgettable like usual, but the opening theme is seriously addicting! I must also add that every BGM have wrong loops, which is really distracting!


In the end, this game doesn’t exactly do anything “wrong”, but was unable to impress me. Their setting and characters are not irritating, but are extraordinarily silly. However, what was I expecting from a company whose most recent game is titled “Love & Piss”?tojita13However, I believe this is nothing more than one of many victims of the recent industry, which forces certain tendencies and rules upon those who want to have a successful product on the market. But, is there any hope? Is it even possible for a game which ignores those worn-out tropes to be released? Who knows? The future has endless possibilities. Which reminds me of that game with the theme song “Endless Possibilities”…Know what? Forget it!

3 responses to “Galge Review – Akabanzu

  1. Ok, this game looks F…ing stupid. Just… keep the 3DS for a little longer dude.

  2. Ahahahaha this is one of the titles I avoided at June last year. Well, I remember reconsidering to pick this up but now that you made a review, I guess I won’t. February release is in a few days, so I’m guessing you’re playing this as a filler of sorts?

    • That’s right! I have a set of fillers for months that have few releases interesting for me. But it seems I won’t be needing it for a while, since this month is full of titles I’m intent to play…some for the right reasons but a few are…well, it’s nice to give a good laugh sometimes!

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