Top Five – Stupid Things About Galges

TOP10-coverArt by ほたるる

I am getting closer to my 100th post here at this Blog, so the following few posts will be special. And by special, I mean things that are “special” for me. Since Galges represent a good part of this blog, why not start with a list of 5 stupid things about this lovely genre? After all, I am no specialist, but I’ve wasted enough of my useless life to consider me a “enthusiast” of sorts, so I can assure you there are many ridicule stuff about those innocent games full of cute little girls.





TOP10-06Something that makes the life of players really practical is the confidence in knowing the basic plot and/or type of characters present in the game just by reading the title. But, how? Are we psychic? Unfortunately, no. And, to be honest, who needs special powers for that when you have titles like: “Thanks to My Little Sister I’ve Became So Popular That it Has Become Troublesome”. Or maybe: “Is it Really True That The Only Thing Capable of Curing My Little Sister of Her NEETness and Her Second-Year-of-Middle-School Syndrome is My XX?”.moteyaba00Yes, it is really stupid, but I can’t fully hate this when it summarizes the game’s main focus and quality so well! Not to mention it makes the title very unique. But, What to do when the opposite happens, and titles become really repetitive and similar? This is also an inconvenient truth. There are many keywords Galge developers like to use when deciding what their game will be about. Things like love(恋/愛), little sisters(妹), older sisters(姉), older brothers(兄), me/the player(俺/僕), girlfriend/her/she(彼女), and seasons(春/夏/秋/冬). And then you have it! 90% of the titles coming each year use at least one of those words. I will even fuse those to make my own delicious title name: “この前の夏に僕の兄貴が「俺の彼女になれ」という発言から、妹との恋愛を始めた”. Oh yeah! My very own Galge! As you can notice, it will be about the last summer, little sisters, brothers rivalry, incest and maybe even a bit of Netorare! It will be a hit! I will make millions!

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7 responses to “Top Five – Stupid Things About Galges

  1. It gets ridiculous sometimes, but #2 is definitely an essential part of eroge enjoyment for many people. Just saying….

    But on a related note, what’s up with the multiple climaxes in one scene? Sure it’s a way to squeeze in more CG variations, but you can make that into a choice. (Of course, many do both and put the choice at the end of round 2.) Then you get to the really impractical nukige scenes with three or more rounds in quick succession. “Wow, Protagonist-kun, looks like you can still keep going!” Sorry, Generic Galge Heroine #692, but physical reality just can’t keep up with your surprisingly large ecchi appetite. Instead, extended pillow talk would be much appreciated.

    • It’s ironic how I tend to get bored with most H-scenes and when I get the feeling it will not change much from all those screamings and a single CG, I just skip the whole thing just to read the pillow talk at the end. However, there are certain cases where they don’t add any conversation and the scene just sudden ends. What happened? Did they passed out or something? I get really pissed when this happens!

  2. Sometimes i wish the amount of semen in Galge are reduced to be more realistic. But i digress, we just have to get used to seeing lots of white stuff exploding all over of the place o.O

  3. Guys have extra sperm. Girls have bigger breasts. Those are the 2 main commandments of galge.

  4. Laughed like a madman after reading some of these.
    I definitely agree with you that eroge does break the law of nature by a huge margin as you’ve stated.

    I’m surprised at how you never really went to the psychological perspectives though: is it really that common to “score” a girl within a matter of few months to weeks? Why does the person who’s so close to you (osananajimi or imouto) come to like you in the first place, over other males?

    So yeah, eroge/anime is like a book. There are good ones, and bad ones as well. However, they should NEVER be taken seriously or even literally.
    Since if someone in their 20s dresses up like Harry Potter and asks people if they want to join his Quidditch team, people will look at him weird.

    • Oh, thanks! I didn’t talk about those “imoutos-osananajimi” stuff because I limited myself to talk about things you only find in Galges, and those are things you see in mangas, animes and other games as well. I did this because, otherwise, this could easily become a TOP 50, or even more. Nevertheless, I kinda have already criticized/made fun of those love-comedy elements on the Japanese Tropes page, so it would feel like I just did a copy and paste from there (Well, not actually, but I believe it would feel repetitive).
      P.S. Am I the only person who have Xenogears in mind when reading the word “elements”?…:(

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