Top Five – Stupid Things About Galges




Top10-07v4Art by 柳田史太

This is fiction, so bitching about this should be quite silly. But what if the writers themselves are trying to prove a point? What if they really want to convince you that a little girl can throw a giant rock on you? Well, that’s what they do! For the sake of keeping the plot always centered on the little girls, the story goes on about how this girl found the time, perseverance, strength and resistance to become stronger than Chuck Norris while still keeping her delicate appearance, and it’s always full of bullshit! They love to use the story about “the age where bones and muscles are stronger being around 12” as an excuse, but it doesn’t work like that. The human body starts to reach its peak with the age of 18’s, when the body is fully grown and people pursue carriers based on their physical abilities. Sometimes they try to use the excuse that “she is really talented and was born with all this strength and reflexes, that’s why she can defeat people who are the triple of her height and weight”. This also doesn’t happen! Trust me! Personal experience! Otherwise, the weight system from professional fighting circuits would just not matter at all. It would be much better if they could settle with the “it’s magic” explanation…

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7 responses to “Top Five – Stupid Things About Galges

  1. It gets ridiculous sometimes, but #2 is definitely an essential part of eroge enjoyment for many people. Just saying….

    But on a related note, what’s up with the multiple climaxes in one scene? Sure it’s a way to squeeze in more CG variations, but you can make that into a choice. (Of course, many do both and put the choice at the end of round 2.) Then you get to the really impractical nukige scenes with three or more rounds in quick succession. “Wow, Protagonist-kun, looks like you can still keep going!” Sorry, Generic Galge Heroine #692, but physical reality just can’t keep up with your surprisingly large ecchi appetite. Instead, extended pillow talk would be much appreciated.

    • It’s ironic how I tend to get bored with most H-scenes and when I get the feeling it will not change much from all those screamings and a single CG, I just skip the whole thing just to read the pillow talk at the end. However, there are certain cases where they don’t add any conversation and the scene just sudden ends. What happened? Did they passed out or something? I get really pissed when this happens!

  2. Sometimes i wish the amount of semen in Galge are reduced to be more realistic. But i digress, we just have to get used to seeing lots of white stuff exploding all over of the place o.O

  3. Guys have extra sperm. Girls have bigger breasts. Those are the 2 main commandments of galge.

  4. Laughed like a madman after reading some of these.
    I definitely agree with you that eroge does break the law of nature by a huge margin as you’ve stated.

    I’m surprised at how you never really went to the psychological perspectives though: is it really that common to “score” a girl within a matter of few months to weeks? Why does the person who’s so close to you (osananajimi or imouto) come to like you in the first place, over other males?

    So yeah, eroge/anime is like a book. There are good ones, and bad ones as well. However, they should NEVER be taken seriously or even literally.
    Since if someone in their 20s dresses up like Harry Potter and asks people if they want to join his Quidditch team, people will look at him weird.

    • Oh, thanks! I didn’t talk about those “imoutos-osananajimi” stuff because I limited myself to talk about things you only find in Galges, and those are things you see in mangas, animes and other games as well. I did this because, otherwise, this could easily become a TOP 50, or even more. Nevertheless, I kinda have already criticized/made fun of those love-comedy elements on the Japanese Tropes page, so it would feel like I just did a copy and paste from there (Well, not actually, but I believe it would feel repetitive).
      P.S. Am I the only person who have Xenogears in mind when reading the word “elements”?…:(

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